Friday, 30 April 2010

Vacuous Life found on Mars says NASA

NASA has finally discovered a new life form on our neighbouring planet Mars. The slimy beings, which strangely resemble TV botherer and crap pop star Myleene Klass are said to be ‘tepid’. 
“Mars is totally swarming with the vacuous beings” said NASA’s managing director Hank Woodruft, “they’re everywhere and they’re upsetting to look at”.

The Martians are said to be harmless one-celled beings and not very intelligent. They are not able to speak but secrete a nauseating sound that makes you want to kill yourself.

The NASA administrator who spotted the aliens said, “I was just gorping through the telescope whilst eating me Big Mac meal and suddenly all these cold brown eyes stared back at me. How we never saw their massive moon-faces before beats the shit out of me”.

Professor Stephen Hawkins was somewhat sceptical about the discovery, “we must not attempt to communicate with them, they may look vacuous, but one day they could infiltrate our lives and we would not be able to escape their scary, and slightly mongy, stare”.

President Obama’s index finger is said to be ‘tentative’.

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