Wednesday, 27 June 2012

Obama's flap over Turkey's name may prompt name change for nation

Turkish president Recep Tayyip Erdo─čan is said to be considering changing his country’s name after US President Obama confessed that he had confused the Eurasian nation of 72 million people with the large bird that Americans eat at Thanksgiving.

The two leaders met at the G20 summit in Mexico last week. When introduced, Obama looked confused, saying “Turkey?” and shaking his head blankly before excusing himself to go to the toilet.

I'm the leader of Turkey the country, not the bird, Erdogan explains to Obama.
 Later, the two leaders found themselves seated together in the G20 canteen during the lunchbreak. Over jacket potatoes, Obama apologised to Erdogan, confessing that he occasionally became “confused” by the country and the bird of the same name.

As they stood to leave the US president suggested that Erdogan think about changing the name of his country. Obama is renowned for his amusing quips but Erdogan, not known for his sense of fun, nodded and wrote the suggestion down in his notebook.

Our G20 Gusset News insider overheard the Turkish president discussing potential names with Australian PM Julia Guillard at breakfast the next day. Guillard suggested “Turkmenistan” but a quick Google revealed that this name was already taken, as was Wales, Spain and Nigeria.

Wednesday, 20 June 2012

Walthamstow Mattress Reveals His Favourite Hotspots

Abandoned mattress Matthew Truss has been wandering the streets of Walthamstow since his owner got a king-size memory foam last Christmas. Gusset News talks to Matt about the best places to hang out in Walthamstow.

Hi there. This is me just chilling in my old owners front garden. I really liked their garden because the bins gossiped about the neighbour's fridge and that was really awesome. 'White goods' are a mattress's natural nemesis. I was was pretty cold though, especially when it rained. I still sometimes go back but it makes me feel sad. 

Higham Hill Road, E17 is one of my favourite places to hang out. It's great for car watching, which I do with my mates. When it's cold we bundle together to keep warm. It's fun being an abandoned mattress in Walthamstow but it has it's ups and downs. Higham Hill Road has a lot of different cars, buses and motorbikes so there's a lot to see.

Forest Road is also a great spot for watching cars and if you're lucky you'll see lots of police cars too. I like sirens. Me and my mate Jeff often hang out in people's gardens along Forest Road and have a few beers. There are some great off licenses on Forest Road and they serve us even though we're only two years old. LOL. Jeff is my best mate but sometimes he smells of wee.

Some of the more quiet roads in the stow are fun to hang out on, especially if you're gonna get up to some mischief or if you don't want to get picked up by the council. This is me and some mates on Wellington Road, E17. We spent a whole day arguing with that dumb fridge. Fridges are stupid. This fridge was abandoned even though it worked. LOL. 

My most favourite garden in Walthamstow is this one on Gloucester Road. I like touching the bike and pretending I can ride it. My girlfriend Di (she's the one I'm kissing) lives in this garden, hence why it's my favourite. The bin is really friendly too and keeps a look-out for council vehicles while we're having a cheeky snog. 

Clarendon Road, E17 is the Hoxton of Walthamstow. You're no-one unless you hang out here regularly. It's so cool that even celebrities copy the rare chic of the 'Clarendon Clique'. I'm not cool enough to hang out here; something to do with the wrong kind of check. But I don't care because the cars on that road are rubbish.

Never hang out on Pretoria Avenue. There are many ASBO sofa gangs. Sofas are scary. Pretoria Avenue may have some awesome cars to watch, but it's not worth the risk.

Thank you Matt for your contribution. Do check out other Mattresses of Walthamstow for insights into the coolest places to hang-out and what sheets to wear this Autumn.