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The Daily Mail claims today that new scientific evidence proves that voting for David Cameron at the upcoming election will cure cancer. The report also claims that “voting for Nick Clegg will give you bad AIDS and voting for Gordon Brown will give you mild thrush”.
According to The Mail the research, conducted by first year drama students at King’s College London, shows that “cancer sufferers released a hormone called klaggiporuscraboxide when informed in controlled conditions that David Cameron was running the country under a Tory government”. Terminally ill patient Jason Woodruff was given just 2 hours to live but made a complete recovery “I couldn’t believe it, it’s a miracle, even my hair grew back instantly!
The research also shows that healthy subjects caught bad AIDS when informed the Lib Dems were running the country.
New opinion polls show that the Tories are now well ahead with 83 per cent.
Labour representative Arthur Conduit said: “this is a ridiculous made up fact from worried right wing Journalists in response to recent opinion polls which show David Cameron is as popular a choice for running the country as an out-of-date Scotched Egg”.
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