Stranded Brits Post themselves back to UK

British holiday makers trapped abroad because of the alleged volcanic ash cloud have started posting themselves home to avoid inflated travel prices. A spokesman for Royal Mail said “we found a family of four in a box addressed to Birmingham. It’s pretty dangerous. I mean even if it’s got ‘fragile’ on it we’ll still kick it about and hit it with spanners”.

Apparently posting a large envelope the weight of a fat brummy not only costs less but will arrive sooner than waiting for airlines to re-open. Transport Secretary Lord Adonis said “Mail from Europe comes on them freight trains and big ships so obviously it gets here faster.”

Eurostar is quoting between £2000-£90,000 for standard fares for passengers, whilst European operators are charging extortionate amounts for car hire and taxis.

Flight companies have confirmed that even if the flight ban is lifted tomorrow there won’t be any free seats until December 2012.

Many postal travellers have arrived safely at their homes in the UK but there were a few minor incidents: Marjory and Trevor West from Bromley arrived this morning but there was no-one in to sign for them so they were re-routed to the depot. Bill Bradley from Stoke wrote his postcode wrong and has ended up in Singapore. Kirsty Watts from Darlington was folded in half despite the prominent ‘Do not Bend’ sign and is recovering in Darlington General.

Royal Mail have confirmed that they do not recommend people posting.