Thursday, 8 July 2010

'Witch Hunt' for Psychic Octopus

Paul the psychic octopus has received death threats from enraged Germans on a mass octo-hunt.

Angry Germans believe that the gifted mollusc is a witch who should be burnt at the stake after he correctly predicted Germany will lose against Spain in the recent world cup semi final.

Germans, from all over Germany, will hunt down and burn all 'psy pi' (psychic octopi) until the real Paul is found. "We can't do the drowning thing, normally done to witches, because they live in the sea and can swim n that," said Hans Schicklgruber, an angry German football fan.

an angry German football fan

Paul's keepers have taken him to a secret place so he can concentrate on predicting the correct winner of the FIFA world cup 2010. "He's not a witch, he's been right every time but he's not evil. He doesn't even own a broom," said a concerned keeper. "We're not trying to make money from him, I mean, this Rolex is only 9ct gold."

Meanwhile bbqs are being set up in every German town and village, ready for the ceremonious burning.

BREAKING NEWS: Paul has predicted that England will win the world cup!


  1. wtf, I thought the swastika was banned in Germany. I guess only in some parts.

    heh, very clever to overlap two swastikas so he actually thinks he gonna get away with that...hmm..