Thursday, 1 July 2010

Uruguayan Referee Given New Identity

International hate figure, Jorge Larrionda, is to be given a new identity and will be moved to a secret location in the Antarctic.

It has been reported that the Uruguayan referee, who disallowed England's equalizing goal with Germany just before half time on Sunday's World Cup match, has more than 100 professionally hired assassins after him, as well as half a million angry football fans who have already burnt effigies of the fiend in Trafalger Square. "If I get my hands on him I'll move them goal-posts where the sun never shines", spurted angry fan, Fabio Capello.

Larrionda, whose children have been bullied at school since the spastic non-sightedness of their father, said he was 'delighted' that FIFA have funded his move to the Earth's armpit, "I am a massive cunt and everyone hates me, they'll never find me and I'm never apologising for my cock up, so there".

FIFA have also arranged for Larrionda's family to have face transplants, concealing their identities for life. Kevin Arnold, CEO at FIFA said "we've recently received four face donations from Ghana so there's no chance of the family being recognised in the snowy hell-hole".

Meanwhile, Gusset artists have compiled this impression of what the mongheaded referee, and his unfortunate family, will look like with their new Ghanaian face transplants.:

No comments:

Post a Comment