Tuesday 20 July 2010

BP: "please release Yorkshire Ripper"

BP has been criticised again today for lobbying the British government for the release of serial killer Peter Sutcliffe.

The Yorkshire ripper was sentenced to 20 life sentences in 1981 for murdering 13 prostitutes and attempting to murder a further 7. However, a high court judge condemned the jailbird to ‘prison perpetuity’, after refusing his request for parole.

BP said it pressed for the release of the prisoner because his custody was damaging its “commercial interests” and disrupt its £90 million petrol station in Yorkshire.

BP recently came under scrutiny for upsetting the USA by helping release a terrorist that killed hundreds of Americans and for covering the country in its oil spill.

Chris Peacock, a spokesman for BP, admitted to The Gusset that Sutcliffe’s release would have closed the deal on their murder-themed petrol station, which planned to sell 'Yorkshire Slippers', donning the murderer's face and include a ‘pic axe mix’. “What more could those flat-capped-whippet-loving-pigeon-licking Northern bastards want?” Said Peacock, who was looking forward to Sutcliffe cutting the red tape (with round-edge scissors) on the new fuel pumps.

Yorkshire Council was said to be 'gutted' at the news. The county had high hopes of capitalising on Sutcliffe's release and will now have to burn all 500 of its “Kill your speed – not a prostitute” road signs that were intended to don residential roads in the borough.
What a waste!

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