French say 'non' to veils

MINCH NORTON

The French parliament has voted overwhelmingly in favour of a ban on wearing veils over the face, a move which could make the Muslim burka and the traditional bank robber mask illegal.

There were 336 votes for the bill and just one against at the National Assembly.

President Nicolas Sarkozy has pushed for the law and said yesterday that the full veil "hurts the dignity of women, and is not acceptable in French society", as he slipped his 19-year old glamour model intern one doggy-style.

But government advisers warned the proposed ban could be unconstitutional. Face-covering veils, like the burka, niqab, Hamburglar and Batman masks are worn by many Muslim women out of choice and are not required by Islamic law.

However, some critics claim that many are pressured into wearing the veil and Dr. Marten boots combo.

Vas te faire encule: defiant burka wearers are up in arms about the ban.

Although France has the largest Muslim population in Europe - an estimated five million people - the veil ban is thought to only directly affect fewer than 2,000 women, 560 burglars, 109 bank robbers and 87 surgeons but a huge 12 million French S&M and rubber fetish pervs.

The new legislation will forbid face-covering veils in all public places in France. Armed robbers must first declare their intentions while speaking into a CCTV and declaring their real name and address before donning any type of veil or mask.

Anyone caught flouting the ban would face a £125 fine or citizenship classes, or both. Those convicted of forcing someone else to wear a full veil would be hit with a fine of£25,000, a one-year jail sentence and a public spanking with a leather fetish paddle and butt-plug insertion.

If the ban is approved by parliament the law could come into force by September, exactly 100 years after a similar law was passed in France forbidding all women to shave their armpits and 200 years since the consumption of two bulbs of raw garlic daily was made mandatory.