Monday, 6 September 2010

Brown has poopy pants, claims Blair

Tony Blair has been hit by backlash after exposing Gordon Brown’s alleged incontinence problems in his new memoir. The former Prime Minister and warlord has had scorn heaped on him from Labour Party members, who are refuting Blair’s claims that Gordon Brown’s pants were constantly mucky.

In chapter five, Blair recounts a trip to Beijing where Brown soiled himself in front of state dignitaries. “It were well funny,” Blair writes, “Gordy couldn’t remember the Mandarin word for ‘toilet’ and ended up shitting himself at a tea ceremony.”

In another incident at Number 10, Brown wet himself in the hallway, causing the German Chancellor Angela Merkel to slip over and sprain her ankle. “Angie smelled like piss all day and had a face like a slapped trout", Blair claimed.

Stinker: Brown waits for parliament to go into recess so he can change his man-nappy.

Brown is not the only PM with grubby pants - David Cameron's well-publicised stint as a Tena Lady spokesperson went some way to destigmatising party leaders' poo problems but the revelation is still a shock for those in the Brown camp.

An unnamed spokesperson for Brown today described the claims as “ludicrous”. “Gordon Brown’s gusset is no one’s business," he said.

The spokesperson has refused to comment on claims that Brown used plastic sheets on his bed in Number 10.

Blair also recounts in the contraversial memoir how he saw Brown getting changed at the gym one day and noticed that the then Chancellor had no pubic hair.

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