Tuesday, 28 September 2010

"Dedward" leads Labour

David and Edward Miliband have decided to lead Labour to victory by teaming up together, Jedward style, senior party sources revealed this morning.

"Our quiffs are a 'work in progress'" [and so are our photoshopping skills]

Labour's new leaders are desperate to beat the current ConDem government in the next election. "Two against two is like loads fairer than one against two", said Ed, or was it David? He went on to say "This is about a new future for the Labour Party and we is like so brill we're gonna win".

The brothers have already held talks about getting matching skinny jeans and quiffs, in order to appeal to the 'youth' culture. "We need twelve year-olds to love us, just like Jedward, because those oiks, I mean children will be our voters in a few years time", said one of the irritating tossers.

David Cameron laughed so much when he heard about the new branding idea that he ruptured his innards. However his spleen, Nick Clegg said "Dead wood? If it sounds like a turd and smells like one, it propbably is one"

Dedward are in talks with Simon Cowell about releasing a Christmas single.

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