Friday, 13 August 2010

Prince Charles' shock Islam conversion

Prince Charles has converted to Islam in a bid to make the Royal Family more multicultural.

Although the monarchy has traditionally avoided associating with brown people, their waning popularity has prompted a move to get with the times. Charles was picked because the family unanimously agreed that he’d look the most awkward in flowing robes.

“The Royal Family has always been seen as a bit out of touch,” said the Windsors’ PR department. “This is a way of bringing a square, racist family into the 21st century.”

Prince Charles has embraced the move and has been spotted praying at the Windsor mosque, speed-reading the Koran and devising mnemonics to memorise the five pillars of Islam: fire, water, earth, wind and heart.

The move comes as Muslims worldwide celebrate Ramadam. During the Muslim holy month Charles must refrain from eating, drinking, or riding wife Camilla Parker-Bowles during daylight hours. Parker-Bowles, who has had to convert along with her husband, is said to be livid about the move. However, she calmed down after receiving a sound beating from the heir to the throne after forgetting her burka on a lunchtime trip to Greggs.

Charles has used his newfound powers of Islam to put a jihad on the Queen after she mistakenly threw away his blanky.

Prince Phillip, well known for his racist rants, called his son a “curry-munching towel-head” and burnt a Q’uran at his gentleman's club in protest, a move which has enraged Mohammed.

The PR department’s other plans to funkify the palace include finally allowing Prince Edward to come out of the closet and having the Queen team up with Snoop Dog on his next album.

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