Friday, 4 June 2010

Royal Scandal: Taxpayer bails out Fergie

The Duchess of York is to be bailed out by the taxpayer after describing herself as being on the brink of bankruptcy.

Sarah Ferguson explained her actions in the recent cash-for-access scandal, admitting she had amassed huge debts and described her situation as "out of control" during an interview with UK chat show queen Trisha Goddard.

The former royal sex-bomb talked at length about what led her to offer to sell an introduction to her ex-husband the Duke of York for £500,000.

In the interview screened on Tuesday night Sarah painted a picture of herself as a woman living beyond her means, likening her situation to one experienced by an addict.

She told Goddard: "I became addicted to a style of high class living that I couldn't maintain. Sometimes I would eat five cases of caviar for breakfast, washed down with water imported from the River Ganges. Some people have a cocaine addiction. For me, it was croquet. All my earnings were siphoned into the lawn game, which I would play for hours on end until the nerves were literally visibly twitching in my eyeballs".

The UK Government confirmed this morning that it will pump £12bn into The Duchess Of York in an attempt to prevent the UK's Excessive Frivolous Spending (EFS) Sector from melting down.

After a weekend of negotiations the Treasury announced a wide-ranging rescue plan under which Ferguson will face a crackdown on foreign 'jolly' visits and shoe shopping, with the Government taking a controlling stake of 60% in the former royal pin-up.

Chancellor George Osborne said today's action was necessary in the "extraordinary circumstances" affecting affluent More Money Than Sense (MMTS) markets worldwide. "I'm determined to do everything I can to stabilise Sarah Ferguson and make her stronger," the chancellor added. "And in return for it, of course, there will be restrictions on what happens in her day to day life, with guarantees in relation to a possible comeback UK tour, solo single and Playboy centrefold shoot'.

Arthur Del Monte III

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