Susan Boyle announced that she will be following the likes of Lady Gaga, Katie Perry and Kylie today by singing in her undies. “It’s well known that record sales increase when girls market their singing voices this way”, said SuBo’s manager David Dickinson, “Susan’s record sales have plummeted since the tories got in and my loft conversion isn’t gonna pay for itself”.
SuBo is said to be speaking with designers at BHS after Madonna's favoured underwear designer Jean-Paul Gaultier refused the £2,000,000 offer.
SuBo's world tour starts in the Autumn and will feature her double-gusseted in black lace and polyester. Celebrity choreographer Jamie King said "dat girl'z got some moves man". SuBo isn't concerned about her age or physique: “God made me like this and there is more of me to love” she chuckled.
SuDog
SuBo also confirmed that she will be recording a duet with Snoop Dog in the summer at his mansion in LA. They met at a BBQ at Chris Tarrant’s last year and have remained friends ever since. “I need to add an ‘edge’ to my repertoire”, said Subo, “and I hope he teaches me to swear like a rapist”.
Her record company have also confirmed she plans to bring out her own line of perfume, start an acting career and marry a footballer.
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