"We could've got Ireland a better deal" say Meerkats

International business entrepreneurial sex symbol, and Meerkat, Aleksandr Orlov, said he could have easily given Ireland a competative interest rate of around 4.9% for the €85bn loan had they come to his website comparethemeerkat.com.

The EU, however, decided to borrow money from loan sharks at a stonking rate of 5.8%.

The loan, which will mostly be used for betting, buying second-hand cars and burning horses, is expected to cost every Irish household €5245 per year in interest alone.

"Simples! We compare hundreds of interest rates and could have bailed Ireland out for a much cheaper rate". Said the Russian website owner. "We'd have saved them enough money to buy a Cheeky Girl".