The latest leaked diplomatic cable reveals world leaders played a two-year game of ‘marry, shag, throw off a cliff,’ Gusset News can reveal today.
Records show that between 2008 and this year, US President Barack Obama, British Prime Minister David Cameron and serial philandering octogenarian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi egged each other on to decide which world leaders and heads of state they would rather wed, engage in intercourse with or murder.
OBAMA
President Obama, already floundering after losing the majority voice in the US House of Representatives, will be reeling today after his decision to push the governor of Alaska Sarah Palin off a cliff was made public. As for his other choices, Hilary Clinton and Condaleeza Rice, Obama wrote that he would spend a night with Hilary and marry "phat Condy".
"Shag Margaret Thatcher, yes please!"CAMERON
David Cameron controversially chose to push his wife Samantha off a cliff, shag hero Margaret Thatcher and marry Labour leader Ed Milliband. “Completing the unification of Britain’s political parties wiv my dick lol!”
BERLUSCONI
No stranger to controversy, Berlusconi is probably the least bothered of the lot by the revelations. The Italian PM chose to shag Anne Widdicome, saying “This won't go any further, right?” In a break from the game’s rules, the PM decided he would push French President Nicholas Sarkozy off a cliff before marrying his supermodel ex wife, Carla Brunei.
